Broken Soul
by Michael J. O'Malley
Summary: Reincarnation AU-Allen's life has been fine up until this point. Nothing strange or out of the ordinary. And then everyone from his past life started showing up again. Memories-both the good and the bad-are cropping up. Will Allen be able to heal? Main pairing: Poker Pair. This is a continuation of my story 'Empty', so please read that first. Rated T for cutting and language.
1. Chapter 1

**Here's the continuation of my one-shot 'Broken'. I hope you like it! The whole story will be told from Allen's point of view.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man**

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

_It was my eighth birthday. The day had been great. I went to the amusement park with Neah, played with my friends (not that many, to be truthful), and stayed up late watching my favorite movies. I didn't tell anyone the whole day, fearing that the fun would end, that I'd been feeling a bit sick and had chills. I didn't know why this was happening, but I know that the eight year old me didn't want a birthday laying sick in bed. _

_Neah put me to bed around eleven, then left the room. I fell asleep quickly, tired from the activities of the day, and from the sickness I felt. I drifted, floating in a haze of violent dreams of war and pain and sadness. I didn't want it. I wanted to wake up. I begged and begged the voices and memories to stop. I woke up later in a cold sweat, all of my memories in place. _

'What a great eighth birthday,' _I thought to myself. _'I get to remember my past life before I'm even a teenager.'_ But the fear was still coursing through my veins. I got out of bed and went to Neah's room, knocking softly on his door. I knew he would be up, working on whatever proposal he needed for whatever job he had. _

_I heard footsteps padding over the cream colored carpet, and the door opened. Neah smiled at me, then took in my disheveled state. He pulled me into a soft hug, dropping to his knees. "What's wrong, Allen? A nightmare?" he asked, looking at me with worry in his eyes. _

"_I remembered," was all I offered as an answer. _

_Neah's eyes widened in shock. "All of it?" he inquired, pain and fear evident. I nodded. I didn't want to speak. I knew my voice would crack. I remembered being an exorcist, and being in war, and the voices, and Kanda telling me he hated me, and all of the pain that I went through. I remembered _everything.

"_All of it," I finally said. I was pulled into a crushing hug, and hugged Neah back with the same amount of force. "All of it," I whispered. _

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

I woke up with a gasp, then cursed under my breath. I had the dream again. The sun glared at me through the curtains, urging me to get my ass out of bed. I groaned slightly, then rolled on my side to shield my eyes from the sun.

As I was about to drift back to sleep, someone started knocking incessantly on my bedroom door. My phone started buzzing at the same time, so I picked it up and hurled it at the door. It hit with a loud bang, and the sound of breaking glass. The knocking and buzzing stopped.

A barely audible sigh could be heard through the wood. "Allen, someone's here to see you." I groaned again. This time I got out of bed.

"Give me twenty minutes," I said back, pulling clothes out and heading towards my bathroom. As I closed the door behind me I heard my uncle's footsteps retreating.

I took a quick shower and got dressed in a black long-sleeved t-shirt, blue jeans, a crimson vest over the shirt, and a black glove over my left hand. I made my way toward my door, stopping only to pick up my phone, which had a cracked screen. I slipped it into my pocket and walked out of the room.

I stopped at the entrance of the living room and saw Neah sitting alone on the couch with coffee in his hands. "I thought you said I had a guest," I said to the man.

"You do. He's in the kitchen getting coffee," Neah responded. He sounded strangely down.

I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"You'll see," my uncle told me vaguely. Knowing that Neah would tell me nothing more, I walked towards the kitchen, both to see this stranger and to get coffee. I pushed the door open and walked in, only to freeze when I saw who it was. Before he could say anything I walked out of the kitchen and towards the front door at a quick pace.

"Where are you going?!" Neah asked me, alarmed.

"Out," was all I said as I slipped my jacket on, my shoes already on my feet.

"Moyashi-Wait!" came a new voice, and a vise-like grip clamped on my left wrist.

"Why should I when you wanted me dead not too long ago?" I snapped back at him. The grip on my wrist loosened and I yanked my arm back. I ran out the door, grabbing the car keys as well, and slipped into my car.

I pulled out of the driveway and drove down the street, no destination in mind. I just drove mindlessly. When I finally stopped, I was sitting in front of the café I usually went to. I got out of the car with a sigh and went into the café.

The bell rung when I opened the door, and the person behind the counter looked up. A smile broke out on his face. I tried for a weak smile. "Hey, Tim," I said, walking up and making my order.

The smile slipped off of his face when he saw my troubled expression. "What happened?" he asked. I only shook my head and slipped the money onto the wooden counter. I sat down at a table in the corner of the room and waited for my hot chocolate to be done.

Timcampy brought the drink over to me, a worried expression clear on his face. "I'm taking my break early!" he called back to his boss, who acknowledged it with a nod.

Timcampy sat the cup down in front of me, then sat down in the chair across from mine. "Now tell me, what happened?"

"He showed up," I said. "Kanda showed up. I don't know if he actually remembers, or if he remembers all of it, but he's showed up."

Tim's eyes widened in shock. "Did he say anything?"

"I left before he could," I responded softly. "I don't want to know if he remembers, or what he thinks of me now. I just want to be away from him."

"Is that what you really think? Or are you just scared of knowing?" Tim asked, looking at me with gentle patience.

I didn't answer. Tim sighed quietly. "Go talk to him. You can't just leave the situation as it is. If you do, it'll only get worse for the both of you."

I nodded. Tim changed the subject to something more casual and we talked for about fifteen minutes before his break was over. "Good luck," he said, then got up and went behind the counter to continue working.

I finished the last of my hot chocolate and got up, making my way towards the door of the café.

**-DGM—DGM—DGM- Time Skip -DGM—DGM—DGM-**

I hesitated slightly before opening the door of the house. I was met with Kanda and Neah sitting on the couch, talking quietly.

"I don't know why he-" Neah stopped himself in the middle of his sentence. "Allen."

I rubbed the back of my neck and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry for running out like that."

"Moyashi . . ." Kanda whispered, staring at me.

"What? Is there something on my face?" I asked, knowing full well that wasn't it.

"Have I met you somewhere before?" he asked.

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

**I'll just leave it there. Thanks so much for reading and look out for the next chapter (but don't hold your breath). Review, favorite, follow, and PM me. I'll be taking requests for other pairings for people besides Kanda, Allen, Lavi, and Tyki. **

**The pairings I already have planned for this story are Poker Pair and KandaxLavi (not sure what that one's called). Thanks again for reading! **

**~O'Malley out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**So here's chapter two of 'Broken Soul'. Sorry for taking so long with the update, but I've been busy lately and completely out of inspiration, but here I am! Let's get on with the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man**

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

"Have I met you somewhere before?" Kanda asked.

I stood there frozen for a moment, and heard a soft gasp from Neah, but snapped out of my shock when I realized the samurai was still waiting for an answer.

"Uhm, n-no, I don't think we've ever met before," I stuttered, giving Neah a helpless smile.

"Then what was that about me 'wanting you dead'?" Kanda inquired irritably.

I looked away from him, staring instead at the painting on the wall next to me. "I mistook you for someone else. Sorry about that."

"Well, whatever," the man said. "I'm here for my father."

I looked at him in confusion. "Your father?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.

He sighed. "He was too busy with school to come here himself, so he sent me. Apparently, he's been watching you for a while. Here." With that, Kanda handed me a letter that I hadn't noticed him holding earlier.

I gingerly took it from him, careful not to make contact with his hand. The letter read:

_Allen Walker,_

_I am very pleased to inform you that you have gotten a full scholarship to the Black Order School for the Arts. I am sincerely sorry that I couldn't come myself to inform you, but I hope you will accept my offer to come to this school. I have been watching you flourish as both an artist and a pianist, and find that you are very talented._

_This school is only for the best of the best artists and musicians, and I think you will fit in here perfectly. Please consider my offer to come here. You have until July 2, 20XX to make your decision. You can find my contact information below to inform me of your decision._

_Professor Froi Tiedoll_

The man's contact information was written below his signature. I frowned. This . . . was a huge offer. I'd heard about the school, as it hosted most of the people from my past life, and it welcome all people from middle school up. How had he even known where I was? I made sure to keep my whereabouts hidden in case the Black Order was looking for me.

But it seemed it was all for naught. The found me anyway. I could always turn the offer down, though. It wasn't as if they were forcing me to go. "Thank you for coming all this way to give my nephew the letter," Neah said, finally speaking up. "Would you like another cup of coffee before you go?"

"No, I'm fine," Kanda said, seemingly in an attempt to be polite. "I need to get back now."

I held the door open politely and closed it after him. Once I was alone with my uncle, I let out a sigh of relief and leaned against the door, sliding down it.

"Are you alright, Allen?" Neah asked worriedly, crouching down in front of me.

I buried my face in my hands. With a long, drawn out sigh, I answered, "I don't know anymore, Uncle. I just don't know." Neah pulled me into a gentle hug, running a warm hand through my hair.

"It'll be okay, I know it," he whispered to me in a comforting manner.

"I hope so," I muttered. "I really do."

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

I let out a short sigh as I sent the rejection e-mail to Tiedoll. I refused to go to a place where there were so many people that could bring up so many bad memories. If I went to that school, I didn't know what would happen. I didn't _want _to know what would happen.

The thought of seeing them made me want to laugh and cry at the same time in a way that would make me seem insane. I was close enough to it anyway.

I had memories of a place that had a magical type of substance called Innocence, and dark matter, and immortal 'humans' that called themselves the Noah family, and akuma that could hijack peoples' bodies to use as their own once brought back from the dead.

Anyone who didn't have the same memories would think I _was _insane. And sometimes I questioned that myself. I shook my head and pushed those thoughts aside. I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called, expecting Neah to come through. Instead, I was greeted by Timcampy. "Tim?" I asked, giving him a quizzical look.

"Hey, Allen. I just came to ask you how it went," Tim said, sitting down next to me on my bed. I let out a soft sigh.

"Well, nothing particularly _bad _happened, unless you count him not remembering his past life bad," I said. "He asked me if we had met before, and I lied of course. I mean, how could I explain how we'd met before without seeming like I belong in an insane asylum?"

"You're rambling, Allen," Tim said with an amused smile.

I chuckled with dark amusement. "Maybe its best he doesn't remember. After all, he dated a disgusting monster. Who would want to remember that?"

"Allen!" Tim snapped, looking at me with stern eyes. "You're not disgusting, and you're not a monster, nor were you back then. What will it take to get that through your thick skull?"

I only smiled at him and responded, "Nothing can convince me otherwise, Tim. But thanks for trying, anyway."

Tim looked like he wanted to argue, but dropped it. "So, what did Kanda come for, if he doesn't remember anything?"

Instead of answering, I picked the letter up that was sitting beside me and handed it to him. He scanned the letter, and I saw his eyes widen in shock.

"Do you think they found you?" Tim asked me, a worried expression crossing his face.

"I don't know," I sighed. "It could just be coincidence, but I highly doubt that they would find me by accident. Either way, I turned down the offer. I can't go to a place with so many people that I knew in my past life, and so many people who caused me so much pain. I'd go insane, if I'm not already."

"You know they'll find a way to get you there. The fact that Kanda was sent by Tiedoll to personally give you a letter to invite you to this school, instead of mailing it, tells us that they really want you at that school. And this is the Black Order that we're talking about. They get what they want."

I was silent. There was nothing more to say. It was glaringly obvious that the Black Order wanted me there.

Just how far would they go to get me at that school?

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

**I didn't want to end it here, but it would take **_**forever **_**to get the rest of what I want here, so I'm going to put this up for you guys. I hope you enjoyed. Please, review, favorite, follow, and PM me. I'm open to any ideas you guys may have for this story, other than changing the ship from Poker Pair to Yullen. That's not happening.**

**But anyway, thanks for reading. Until next time . . . **

**~O'Malley out!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's chapter three of 'Broken Soul'! Please enjoy!**

**Also, ****I have an important notice! I've changed the prequel to this story up a bit, and I think it's better than originally. Please go back and read it! Events that happened in between the beginning and the end of the prequel will be revealed in this story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man.**

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

I growled softly in annoyance as I walked onto the Black Order campus. A couple of weeks after I sent out the rejection e-mail, I got a letter in the mail telling me I had one more week to decide on whether I was going to go to the school or not.

At first I was confused. After all, I'd sent out an e-mail telling them I didn't want to go. But it didn't take long to figure it out. The Black Order always got what they wanted, just as Tim said. I made another frustrated noise as I saw Komui making his way towards me, as if he were expecting me.

As he walked up to me, he held a hand out and greeted me. "You must be Allen Walker. It's nice to finally meet you after all I've heard from Professor Tiedoll. I'm Komui Lee, the headmaster here. "

I stared blankly at the Chinese man until he got uncomfortable and pulled his hand away. Finally, I spoke. "I think we both know that this isn't our first meeting, Komui." My voice had barely concealed anger hidden behind the emptiness.

Komui looked stunned for a second, as if he wasn't expecting that reaction. When he recovered, he said, "I don't know-"

"Don't give me that bullshit," I spat. "Why do you want me here so bad? What's the point? It's not like there's another war for you to shove onto my shoulders again."

The man flinched as he were struck, then tried for a smile that came out as more of a grimace. "Because you have friends here that care about you."

I scoffed. "Yeah, right," I said sarcastically. "The friends who only kept me around as a human weapon cared about me. That's exactly how it was." Then I started laughing darkly. For some reason, the situation was just too funny. I laughed until I was crying. When I finally stopped laughing, I noticed that Cross was standing next to Komui, looking at me as if I were crazy.

"What?" I asked them, tilting my head to the side in an innocent manner.

"Who's this brat?" Cross asked Komui.

"You really don't remember your 'Idiot Apprentice'?" I asked him, making quotation marks around the two words. "That kind of hurts."

"Hmm. So you remember, huh? At least you can do something right," Cross responded.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you're still an ass."

Cross only chuckled amusedly at my comment, as if it were cute how I tried to insult him. "So, are you joining the school, or what?" the man asked, changing the subject.

"Of course not! Why the hell would I do that?!" I exclaimed. Both of the men looked shocked. "I came here to turn down the offer. I tried sending an e-mail, but it seems that it went ignored."

"B-but why don't you want to go to school here?" Komui asked, confusion and shock clear on his face.

"I told you, didn't I? There's no point in being here. The only people in this entire school used me as a human weapon to defeat the Earl. After that, I was thrown away. I would be stupid to think that they care about me now." I crossed my arms and sighed, realizing how hostile I'd just been.

I continued in a calmer voice. "Look, I just don't want to be around those people. That's all."

I heard footsteps coming up behind me and turned around, only to see Leverrier looking smugly at me. It took all of my will not to glare hatefully at him.

"Sir, do you think you could lead me to the secretary's office?" I asked him, then gestured behind me. "These men keep saying confusing things to me, and they won't answer my questions."

Leverrier looked sharply at me, as though expecting me to say something completely different, but quickly recovered. The smugness faded a bit.

"Of course," he said in his sickly false kind tone. "It's in the main building just behind Professor Cross and Headmaster Komui. Would you like me to escort you there?" Cross grimaced at the use of 'Professor'.

I shook my head and smiled gratefully at him. "No, but thank you anyway."

I turned around and walked away from him, letting my smile slip when he couldn't see my face. I glared intensely at the ground as I walked away, and noticed Komui and even Cross flinch when I glanced at them.

I walked into the main building and to the secretary's desk right across from the entrance. I paused for a second as I saw Lenalee sitting behind it, but pulled my thoughts together and took the rejection letter I'd typed up earlier out.

"May I help you?" Lenalee asked me, violet eyes twinkling with kindness.

I slid the letter through the opening in the wall of glass to her, then said, "Would you mind giving that to the headmaster?"

Lenalee picked it up and glanced over the return address I'd put on it just in case. "Of course. But, may I ask, what is the letter for, Allen-san?"

I wasn't offended by the question. I knew it was her job. "Just my rejection letter. I don't think I'd fit in here."

The Chinese girl looked sad for a second, but quickly smiled to cover it up. "Then I'll give it to the headmaster as soon as he returns. Have a nice day."

I returned the farewell and left, heaving a big sigh. "Now, let's just hope that they pay attention to the letter this time," I muttered to myself.

As I was walking off of the campus, I heard a voice to my right. "Cheating boy?"

My eyes widened and I spun towards the voice, looking on with shock. The man looked just as shocked as I was. "T-Tyki?" I whispered. I wasn't sure what to do, stare at his charming figure for longer or tackle him in a hug.

I did neither. Instead, I slowly walked over to him and cupped the side of his face gently, staring in to those golden eyes. And suddenly we were kissing. It wasn't a deep or lustful kiss, but a soft and gentle and loving kiss. A kiss of lovers who'd been apart for far too long. "Tyki," I breathed against his lips.

I hugged him tightly and cried silently into his shoulder. It had been so long, and it'd been so hard not being able to see him, or touch him, or even hear his voice. The man hugged me back just as tightly.

"It's been so long," I said, pulling away.

He kept an arm around my waist and kept me close, touching our foreheads together. "It has. But now we don't have to wait anymore."

I laughed lightly, smiling my first real smile since I got my memories back. My first real smile since Kanda shattered my heart the second time. I hugged him again, breathing in his scent. He smelled of mint and vanilla, with a hint of cigarette smoke. I loved it.

Finally I pulled away from him fully keeping a hold of his hand. "Let's go get some coffee. I think we have some catching up to do."

The Portuguese man smirked at me then. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "And then I can take you to my house, and we can catch up some more." He emphasized his statement by gently sucking on my neck.

I gasped and blushed brightly, pushing him away. "If you're lucky," I told him with my own smirk, despite the blush on my face.

"Well, I've been known for my luck," he told me.

"Not in poker. I've beat you every time," I pointed out.

"_That _is because you cheat, love," he responded, poking me in the side.

I rolled my eyes and laughed at our banter, realizing, not for the first time, how much I missed it. I lead him down the street to my car so that we could go to my usual café.

I was happy, finally. I was finally able to feel a sense of peace I hadn't had in a long time.

If only I'd realized that the sense of peace wouldn't last long.

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

**So there's chapter three for you guys. And don't worry, anything you found confusing in this chapter you can ask me about, but will most likely be explained later in the story. If you put it in the reviews or PM me about it, I'll make sure to do my best explaining within the fanfiction.**

**Favorite, follow, review, and PM me! Until next time . . . **

**~O'Malley out!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Before I get on to the story, I just want to say something. Things lately have been pretty hard for me. Honestly, I would just love to give up on everything. I don't really see much point in doing things. We all die at the end of the road anyway, right?**

**But when I read the comments and PMs from you guys, I feel a sense of purpose. Because at least someone cares and notices me. And because of all of the support, I feel like I can go on to finish the story, and keep living. I just want to thank all of you for that, and I hope that you enjoy the next chapter. Sorry if this was bothersome or anything, but thanks for reading it anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man**

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

As Tyki lead me to his house, keeping a firm grasp on my hand, I paused.

Sure, I was happy to finally touch him and feel him and talk to him again, but I didn't get it. I had insecurities about our relationship, despite how much Tyki obviously loved me.

I stopped walking and pulled my hand out of the man's grip. He looked back at me and frowned in worried confusion.

"Why do you love me?" I asked. It was a question I asked him often before our deaths. I didn't let Tyki say anything. "Why would you want to date a disgusting monster? I mean, look at me." I let out a small, humorless chuckle. "I'm practically albino, my personality is horrible, and I have both Innocence and Noah inside of me. How could you love something like me?"

Silver clashed with gold as our eyes met. I quickly pulled my gaze away, unable to maintain eye contact with him. Tyki walked over to me and held my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him. "You aren't a monster, Allen."

I smiled at him. "Look at this and tell me that." I pulled my long sleeve up and slipped the black glove off. My arm was black, like when I was still an exorcist, except for the fact that instead of a green glowing stone in my hand, it was deep purple, the sign of Dark Matter.

Tyki's breath hitched. "What . . .?" he breathed, eyes wide.

"The Innocence and Dark Matter became one," I explained. "They fused, and now I've become even more of a monster. The world of Noah and Exorcist affects me even now, after I've moved on from it."

Tyki forced me to look at him again. "I don't care. You're not a monster, love. You're amazing and beautiful. There's no one else in the world that I could ever love more than you."

I searched his face for any sign of deceit or lies, but all I could find was honestly and pure love.

I rested my head on his chest. "Then I'll have to take you word for, I guess."

The Portuguese man beamed at me and took my hand again, leading me up the walkway to his house.

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

_I let myself fall to my knees after reaching my room, sobbing quietly into my gloved hands. "Why does everyone leave me? Why am I always alone?" I repeated this over and over again, the heavy silence in the air making it even worse. _

_Muted footsteps approached me, and I was brought into a warm embrace. I cried into Tyki's chest, clutching tightly at his shirt. _

"_I'll never leave you. Never," Tyki whispered to me, gently rubbing circles into my back. _

_I stayed silent for a few moments, save for my shuddering sobs. "Promise?" I mumbled pathetically. "Do you swear?"_

_I felt myself being pulled away slightly, enough to look the Noah of Pleasure in the eye. "I promise. I'll never leave you, Allen."_

_He sealed the promise with a deep kiss._

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

I woke up with an annoyed groan, burying my face in Tyki's bare chest. Why did I always have to wake up to the sun in my eyes?

I felt the Noah's chest move as he chuckled in amusement. "I see you're still not a morning person," he teased, wrapping his arms tighter around me.

I sat up slowly, shielding my eyes from the sunlight that was streaming through the open curtains. "Of course I am. What kind of person likes being woken up at eight in the morning? It's absolute hell."

I pulled the black silk sheets off of me and stood up from the bed, picking up my clothes that were strewn about the room. I gave Tyki an apologetic smile. "Sorry. As much as I'd love to stay in bed with you all day, Neah will be worrying about me. He expected me home an hour ago." I said the last part after glancing at the cursed alarm clock, which read 2:06 p.m.

I slipped the glove on my hand and looked at Tyki, who was also getting dressed. "And what are you getting out of bed for?" I asked.

Tyki smirked. "I want to apologize to your uncle for tiring you out so much. I'm sure he'll understand."

I blushed slightly at the remark, but ignored it, turning away to grab my shoes and pulled them on, then watched as Tyki got dressed. Can you really blame me? Tyki was like a god.

I pouted in disappointment when he was fully dressed. Tyki noticed this and smiled at me in a suggestive way, but made no comment.

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

I pulled into the driveway with a soft sigh.

"What's wrong?" Tyki asked.

I grimaced. "Neah is going to _kill _me. I'm an hour and a half late. He's always been a bit overprotective."

I said nothing more and got out of the car. I strode up the walkway, with Tyki following behind me, and unlocked the door.

"I'm home, Neah," I called meekly. Tyki closed the door once he walked in.

Two people turned the corner to the entryway, but I didn't get a good look at the second person before Neah jerked me away from the Noah of Pleasure, causing me to be thrown into the second person.

I pulled away from the person, not bothering to look at them, and looked at my uncle with confusion. "What's wrong, Neah?" I asked, frowning.

"Why are you with _him_?" my uncle hissed angrily.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "Tyki is my boyfriend. Why wouldn't I be with him?"

"Maybe because he's a Noah!" the other person in the room exclaimed. My head snapped to him, and my breath caught in my throat. It was Kanda.

"What does that matter now, when the Noah family doesn't even have immortality or powers anymore?! They're not trying to rule the world anymore, or hurt the people we care about, so what does it matter?! They've become human physically, so give them a chance to act that way!"

Neah and Kanda looked shocked by my outburst. I continued speaking. "And how can you say that kind of thing when I'm just as much of a Noah as you or Tyki or any of them?!" I pointed this statement towards Neah.

Neah scowled slightly. "At least I didn't try to kill you."

"So trying to erase everything about me doesn't count as trying to kill me?" I asked him. Neah flinched. "That's what I thought," I muttered.

"Being with _that _makes you even more disgusting," Kanda spat, glaring at me.

I glared right back. "So be it. If it meant being with Tyki, I'd become a monster."

"You'd do anything to be with him?" Neah asked, his voice strangely calm. I nodded, my determination clear.

"Then choose." I looked at Neah with puzzlement until the statement finally sunk in. I stared at my uncle, dumbfounded.

"Choose. Either me, or the Noah," Neah told me. I looked between them. I couldn't think. My thoughts were a jumbled mess.

"I can't-I can't just _choose _between the most important people in my life!" I exclaimed.

"He's really that important to you?! I can't believe this! You might as well be a monster when you're with him!" Neah yelled.

I froze in shock. Tears formed in my eyes. And things exploded from there. I said nothing, only stood by the door in shock at my uncle's statement.

Neah was trying to apologize to me, Tyki was yelling at him and Kanda about how insensitive and rude they were, and Kanda was arguing right back.

I backed away from the huge argument and slipped out the door, then ran to my car, turning it on and pulling it out of the driveway. Tyki and Neah tried to follow me, but I could see them arguing again in my rearview mirror.

I held myself together for as long as I could, holding the river of tears back until it was impossible. I wiped the tears that were blurring my vision away violently, keeping one hand on the wheel. My phone started ringing, so I turned it off and threw it in the back seat.

I couldn't deal with what my uncle had to say. I didn't want to deal with it either. Whether he was in his right mind or not when he said that, I knew that was how he really felt.

My eyes grew wide when I noticed the car driving right towards the driver's side of the car, going too fast to stop. It was too late. There was no way I could avoid it. Everything happened in slow motion. The other car crashed into mine, and I felt myself go weightless.

A blinding pain exploded in my left temple, then everything went dark.

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

**Thanks so much for reading, once again, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Favorite, follow, review, and PM me. **

**Until next time . . . **

**~O'Malley out!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray Man.**

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

_I walked into the cafeteria silently, forcing myself not to cringe at the quietness that blanketed the room when I entered. I could tell Jerry was trying to act normal, but he seemed nervous and . . . wary? I frowned, but ordered my food. _

_By the time it was ready, everyone else had gone back to their conversations, but they were much quieter. I grabbed the tray of food, which had about half as much as I usually ate, and brought it to an empty table, setting it down and picking at the food._

_I wasn't really hungry, but I figured that I should eat _some _sort of food to keep me going. I tried to ignore the stares and looks I was getting, but they seemed to burn into me, making me fidgety and uneasy._

_Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I slammed my hands down on the table, making the people around me jump. "Take a picture if you want to look at me so much. It lasts longer." My words were cold and empty. I stood up without having actually eaten anything and stormed out of the cafeteria. I couldn't stand the tense atmosphere anymore. _

_As soon as they couldn't see me anymore, I heard the whispers start. I stood by the entrance and listened, despite knowing that it would only hurt me in the end. _

_Some people were talking about me worriedly, but most were distrustful and rude. _

"_He's just a monster, like Kanda said. We shouldn't trust him," I heard an exorcist say. _

"_Yeah," another responded. "Did you hear how he talked to us? He's probably waiting for an opportunity to torture and kill us."_

"_He's nothing but a disgusting Noah," a third one said. I couldn't stand it anymore. I ran down the hallway with tears in my eyes, noting with grim satisfaction that all of the people went silent again when they saw me rush past and heard my rushed footsteps. _

_Eventually I slowed to a walk, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself. I tensed when I heard talking just around the corner I stopped at. _

_It was Lavi and Lenalee. "I can't believe Komui is making us work with him," Lenalee whined, groaning in frustration. "I mean, Kanda was right. Allen could turn on us at any moment. He isn't trustworthy. Actually, I think he's kind of a monster. Having both Innocence and a Noah, it's not natural."_

_Tears slipped down my cheeks, but I noticed through my betrayal that Lavi said nothing. _

"_You feel the same way, don't you?" Lenalee asked him with an irritated tone. _

_Lavi was silent for a moment, and I held my breath. "No, I don't," he said. I smiled sadly. "I think it's disgusting how you treat him that way without even thinking about how he might feel. Allen didn't choose to be born with Innocence and a Noah. It was our twisted God's choice." _

_I sensed bitterness in his tone, and knew that he felt the same way. Just like I didn't choose to be the way I was, Lavi didn't choose to be a Bookman. _

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

"Allen deserves better than a power hungry Noah who-" Neah was cut off by his phone ringing loudly.

Tyki glared at him as he answered the phone, and he clenched his teeth, forcing himself not to say anything else.

Suddenly, as Neah listened, his face went pale, and his hands started to shake. Tyki noticed this with a frown, furrowing his brows.

"I-I'll be there right away," he said, then hung up and got his things together, obviously preparing to go out.

"What's happened?" the Noah of Pleasure asked, annoyance clear in his voice.

Neah said nothing for a moment, as if thinking, then answered. "That's none of your business. I want you out of my house by the time I get back." Having said that, Neah practically ran out of his house and to his car.

Tyki sighed. He wondered just what could happen to make Neah panic like that. And then a single morbid thought ran across his mind. _'What if something happened to Allen?' _He pushed the thought out of his mind, telling himself to be less pessimistic.

Just then his phone started buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out to see Lulubell calling him. That was strange. She never called unless it was an emergency.

"Lulubell, what's wrong?" he asked immediately.

Tyki heard the woman take a shaky breath on the other end of the line. "It's Allen-kun. He's been taken to the hospital I work at." He felt his heart stop. He only tuned back in when he heard her say ". . . car crash. He's in critical condition."

"Can you send a car to Allen's house?" He asked, pushing his panic down. "I need a ride to the hospital."

"Of course," was Lulubell's answer, then she hung up. Tyki rushed out of the house, barely remembering to close the door, then paced in front of it, waiting for the car to show up.

Five minutes later, the car screeched to a stop in front on Allen's house. The window rolled down, and the Earl looked into his eyes. "Get in."

**-Meanwhile, at the hospital—**

Allen lay on the clean white hospital bed, his eyes closed and bandages covering his body. He was hooked up to at least a dozen different machines, and tubes and wires stuck out of him. There was a clear mask over his mouth and nose, which fogged up after every breath.

Neah stood next to his nephew, staring sadly at the sight. He felt a strong sense of guilt, feeling at fault for the car crash. If only he hadn't called Allen a monster, then this wouldn't have happened.

Suddenly, the heart monitor started beeping faster and faster, and Neah looked up with fear. He ran to the door and called for help.

Nurses and doctors ran into the room, and forced Allen's uncle out. The last thing he heard before the door sealed him off from his nephew was the flat line of the heart monitor.

_**-You're a disgusting monster. You don't deserve to live.-**_

The doctor rubbed the defibrillators together.

"Clear!" A nurse called. Allen's body jolted as the electricity coursed through his body.

The flat line beeped once, then flattened out again.

_**-He isn't trustworthy.-**_

The doctor tried again. And the flat line remained.

Neah rushed to the closed door, looking through the glass with an anxious and scared expression.

_**-He could turn on us at any moment.-**_

They pressed the defibrillator to his chest again.

_**-We should just execute him.-**_

The flat line jumped, then evened out again.

_**-He's just a weapon for the war. After that, we can kill him.-**_

Neah stood fearfully by the door, listening to the terrifying sound of the flat line. Tyki ran up to it, fear evident on his face.

"Come back to me, Allen," he whispered.

_**-I promise. I'll never leave you, Allen.-**_

Finally the heart monitor started beeping evenly again. Neah and Tyki let out a breath of relief.

Allen's doctor walked out of the room with a look of relief, similar to how Tyki and Neah felt. He walked over to them. "You are his family, correct?" he asked.

"Yes," Neah answered.

"I'm his lover," Tyki told him, casting a worried glance at the closed door.

The doctor had a small look of surprise, but it disappeared a second later.

"I'm his doctor, Nowaki Kusama. You can just call me Dr. Kusama. I'm sad to say that Allen-kun may not make it through the week. If he does, then he should be fine afterwards, but for now, there's no way to tell whether he'll make it or not."

"What kinds of injuries did he have?" Neah asked.

Dr. Kusama suddenly looked tired, and glanced at his chart. "Allen-kun had a major concussion in his left temple, major internal bleeding in multiple places, lacerations from the broken glass all over his body, and a dislocated shoulder. He also took brain damage from the concussion, so there's no telling when he'll wake up if he survives."

The two worried men got the silent statement. _If he wakes up._

"Can we see him?" Tyki asked, looking at Dr. Kusama with pleading eyes. He smiled kindly at the two Noahs and nodded, gesturing towards the closed hospital door.

"I'm sorry, but I have some things I need to take care of, so I'll be going now. Call a nurse if you need anything," he told them, and then left.

The two walked into Allen's hospital room, deciding that their argument could be continued another time in another place. In that moment, all that matter was Allen.

**-DGM—DGM—DGM-**

**And that's chapter five. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Please favorite, follow, review, and PM me. Until next time . . . **

**~O'Malley out!**


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